"Happy, jolly, most wonderful time of the year!"

31 weeks pregnant Christmas 2010

This time next year we will be parents! I cannot believe that Charlotte will be here in only 8 weeks, 8 weeks! John and I felt that once Christmas was over we'd feel ready to focus on the baby's arrival- we're ready! We purchased the co-sleeper today, created the registry, and took an inventory of what we have to do. I am ready! (John might not be, but I am!)

The Crib- Arm's Reach Sleigh Bed Co-Sleeper

The winning shower theme is "The Brewing of the Bean". I think the guests will appreciate the coffee theme in the dead of winter! I am so excited!!

Time to Plan A Shower

We are 78 days away from meeting Charlotte and I've been told it's time to plan a shower. There are a few glitches with this timeline: it will be snowy soon (even more so in Schenectady where my mom will be throwing the shower) and this is not a time that we should travel (Charlotte and I or anyone else, considering the weather). So, we have about three months to plan a shower and my mom wants to be sure it's exactly what I want (thanks, mom!). I figure the best place to start is a theme. Here are my ideas for themes, you can help by choosing which you think is the best idea.

Apple of Our Eye: obviously an apple theme- apple pie, green and red colored decor, apple-themed favors.

Cute as a Bee: I was thinking a tea party theme, tea with honey, black and yellow colored decor, honey as a favor, the menu would be desserts only. It could be a nice warm theme for the weather that will get people thinking of Spring!

A Baby is Brewing: this is my and John's favorite theme. We've been calling her "the bean" since we first saw her in the ultrasound and that inspired the name of the blog, so it just seems fitting. It would be a coffee party, desserts and sweets. This theme makes favor ideas pretty easy (custom coffee or desserts for people to take with them).

Snug as a Bug: Another warm theme (I think the weather is getting to me...). Little bugs are cute. I have no idea what this theme would entail for aspects of a party, but it sounds cute. :-)

No More Ultrasounds

Today was my last monthly doctor's visit. Starting in December, I will be seeing the doctor bi-weekly. I thought that the bi-weekly visits would consist of more ultrasounds, as we got closer to our due date, but this is not the case. The midwife informed me that the only way I get an ultrasound now is if my weight spikes, the baby starts growing quicker than would be expected or my blood pressure spikes. So, I guess I should hope I don't get to see Charlotte again until February.

I must say that the midwife I met today, I really liked her. As some of you know, I am not a fan of the crew of midwives at the Women's' Health Care Center in Haverhill. I find that their philosophy toward prenatal medical care leaves much to be desired. I don't know, maybe because of the area, the experiences of the practice as a whole is that mothers-to-be suck, but I think I'm an okay person that deserves to be treated based on my own needs and way of living, not stereotypes or the behaviors of others as a whole...just sayin'. Anyway, this woman was knowledgeable, asked questions about me and what I felt I needed to accomplish in the visit, and gave some really good advice!

For my friends that are pregnant, or are going to be pregnant, and love the gym (like I did before I got pregnant) those visible abs that we all work to achieve, well apparently that can come back and bite you in the ass when you're pregnant. I have been having terrible, burning pains (feels like my body is tearing on the inside) on the top and sides of my stomach, well it's because my abs are "too muscular" (her words, not mine). The muscle is tearing. The midwife suggested a hot wrap, there's no clinical proof that the wrap heals or stops the tearing, but it feels amazing. I slapped one on when I got home and I could move and bend so much easier!

Only 88 days 'til Charlotte arrives! Her cousin arrived Tuesday! We will be going to see Christopher this weekend!

As we begin the holiday season with Thanksgiving, I am overwhelmed with a feeling of supreme felicity. I do not remember a Thanksgiving in my life that I felt so content. This year I want to remember every single moment of this season. This is my first year as Mrs. Cotti and John and I could not be more excited about our new family on the horizon.

I talk to Charlotte all the time; I tell her how she changed my life the moment she was conceived. I tell her that I have never been so happy, so scared, so fascinated, so anxious, so excited and so in love. I tell her how much I love her father for helping me, loving me, taking care of us... I tell her that I cannot wait to meet her and grow with her.

This time next year our little girl will be here to celebrate with us- can you believe it?!

Is anxiety a normal part of pregnancy?

The more I read, the more I realize that anxiety is a common symptom of pregnancy. I also have learned that my level of stress and anxiety is not good and can effect the baby. I need to slow down.

I have been researching (which is actually one of the first things that these websites tell you not to do if you're feeling anxious, but if I didn't keep reading, I'd never know...) and found that levels of anxiety do increase while pregnant. With all the aspects of a new life that have to be considered before it arrives, who wouldn't be nervous? Mine, however, is getting to the point of poor sleep, poor appetite, and perseverating over every detail of our lives. If John has to hear one more time about how I'm worried about having so much to do at work or how expensive going to the movies is, he's going to flip his lid. I need to take action, and the first step to my recovery is admitting to the world that I have a problem and structuring a better routine to hopefully decrease my high level of anxiety. I am going to need other people to tell me that this is a good plan and that I do not have to feel guilty. I need to keep in mind that anxiety causes preterm birth and low birth weight and that anything I can do to make life better for Charlie starts before she's born.

Here's my plan:

Step 1: Keep attending prenatal yoga. I feel like a million bucks when I leave the studio. I did a little bit of a routine this morning and immediately I felt better; I'm going to keep it up!

Step 2: Learn how to tell people at work, "No". It's okay to not have complete control over every little thing and I do not have to please everyone (I need to learn that some people are never satisfied). I have always been a person to give 110%, I can run on 80% and I'd still be doing a hell of a job.

Step 3: Stop reading so much. I'm like my father in this way, I will get interested in something and I will learn as much as I can and teach myself how to do things, to the point that these interests aren't hobbies, I become obsessed. Pregnancy and parenting has become one of those subjects that I read everything I can get my hands on. I'm going to stick to some light reading before bed and skip the constant Internet research on everything from blankets to Boppies (even as I write this step, I know this is going to be the hardest).

Step 4: Take breaks. I should not be going from 7:00 a.m to 7:00 p.m without a few hours to rest. I trick myself into thinking that some activity is just as restful as actually laying and zoning out for a little while, apparently it's not, because if it was I wouldn't need a step 4.

Step 5: Exercise. The gym was a huge part of my routine before I was pregnant. I was exercising more frequently in the first 12 weeks, but I've been so wrapped in a world of babies lately I haven't taken the time to workout. It's time to add it back into the routine.

Step 6: Take a little while each day to enjoy Charlie. I listened to Charlie kick and move the other night before I went to sleep and I didn't wake up feeling anxious at 2:00 a.m and stay up worrying 'til 5:00 a.m. I am going to make this a part of my routine, because it will make me a happy mama!

These are my anxiety-reducing guidelines. Only a 6-step program, so already I'm following step 2 and I'm working at 80%. As always, I appreciate your input. One of the best parts of this blogging experience is hearing what other people have experienced.

Brewing a Baby Diva

We're getting to the point of being "really" pregnant. John can now confirm that Charlotte is "actually in there"; he felt her move for the first time yesterday and that was his response, "She's actually *in* there." She is kicking and spinning. The doctor tried to hear her heart beat today and she kept moving away from the little wand, I have a feeling she's going to be a child we're going to be chasing a lot.

She's already just like her father. She moves the most when she hears clapping and cheering. She's going to come out running right for the nearest stage. (Keep your fingers crossed there's no pole involved! :-P)

The doctor has informed me that I need to start exercising as much as possible while I can still move (her words) and I need to avoid sugar and carbs. I have become a big consumer of cake and cake-like goods, so this will be difficult. Fruit juices are now a no-no and no candy (which I actually do not have a problem with). I am getting to the point where my body will metabolize food differently and my body will use only the nutrients it needs, no garbage. However, I'm still going to get bigger 'cause it's Charlie's turn to start growing. I have to remind myself that big is beautiful and necessary now.

And you know because...

As I approach the third trimester I have realized my pregnancy pet peeve, people that have never been pregnant, some that never will be pregnant, telling me what I can't do or what I am not capable of. Being pregnant does not make me less capable or less reliable. It is true that there are some things that I cannot do or should avoid while pregnant, but I know what I can and can't do- I don't need your input.
To all those people that feel it is their obligation to ensure I am well behaved during pregnancy, I'll tell you what I need to avoid, end of story.

Half Way There

We are at 21 weeks today. My mind has moved from learning about pregnancy to planning the birth and being a parent. The best advice I've received to this day- read "The Baby Book"; Dr. Sears has provided a lot of insight (thank you, Kimberlee!).

I just started to gain weight. However, now that it's started, it seems to be going up quickly. Up until 20 weeks I had gained 9 pounds, I am already up to 12 pounds. I have been trying to stay active, it's hard when I feel tired all the time, but prenatal yoga has been a great way to stay active and it's a challenge too. I feel awesome when I leave the studio. The instructor is fantastic! She is a soon-to-be doula with two kids and she is very knowledgable. She gives great advice and the practice she provides is focused on labor prep. The studio is a photo studio and a very relaxing atmosphere. If you're interested, contact Beabe Studio and address the message to Mira Clark.

Mommies that know, I need your help!

We've made it to the halfway mark and I am exactly where every baby book and website says I should be, planning the nursery. In our case, it will be Charlotte's side of the room. I have made space for her arrival, now I need to know what to put in the space. MOMMIES I NEED YOUR HELP!! What is worth the money, what can I do without, what is a good "be prepared" purchase and what should I avoid?? This are my thoughts/questions at this point. All opinions, responses, sarcastic comments welcome.
Crib: We like the Sorelle Tuscany for three reasons: the color, the fact that it converts (to a day bed with rails and then a twin bed) and it comes with crib, changing table and dresser attached. Seems like a product that is worth the money.

Car seats- do we get one and move it between cars or two and leave one in each?
Carrier- what is the best one and if we get a carrier can we avoid buying a stroller for a while?
Breast pump- manual or electric? I am leaning towards manual, but I am not sure how often I will be pumping.
Bedding- I am not going to bother with a set that includes bumper and blankets and all that. I am going to get a sleep sack and fitted sheets. All the research shows that the fewer things in the crib, the safer the baby.

Pack and Play- the ones that they make now can be put on the side of the bed so it's like the baby is sleeping with you; I really like the thought of it, but are they really safe?
These are all my inquiries, for now...

PLEASE HELP!!

She's Got It All!

This is our Charlotte giving a hello to everyone. We had our anatomy scan at our last appointment. It is AMAZING what can be seen with an ultrasound! I had no idea what the anatomy scan process entailed, until we were in the little room. They look at every part- hence the name... We saw both her arms and legs, each finger, each toe, all the chambers of her heart, the brain, nerves coming from her brain to her spine. Let's hope we never have to have a radiologist look at all these parts again postnatally.

Pregnancy and prenatal care is a little scary, because no one sits down and tells you what to expect or explains the process. You have to be a parent from moment one. You have to read all you can and ask all the questions possible, if you don't, you're just along for the ride. On the other hand, you need to take in all the answers to your questions and decipher what is worthy information and what is conjecture. I just keep telling myself, women have been doing this for years...

Honeymoon/Disneymoon/Babymoon

We're back! We had a great time! I recommend that anyone that is pregnant or plans to become pregnant- go on a babymoon! Now, we were lucky in a way, we planned on this trip being our honeymoon; we happened to get pregnant and the trip became our babymoon. While we were there, Disney was promoting their "Celebrate today" campaign. We were given pins when we arrived that read "Just Married". We wore these pins one day. We got so many strange looks, being 5 months pregnant and celebrating a honeymoon did not seem to be well received by some people down there and it took too much effort to explain to people that we'd been married for 6 months already. So, we changed the celebration to "babymoon" and got a pin for my belly that read "1st Visit".

We did do some research before we left to make sure this trip was as safe and enjoyable as possible. We learned that if pregnant and flying, stand and move often. I ended up standing for the last 30 minutes, or so, of the flight down. I did not have that option on the flight back and ended up feeling really sick by the time we got back to Boston. We read that rest is VERY important and we agreed before we left that we would be napping everyday. It made the trip enjoyable for the both of us (because, if I get cranky, everyone is going down with me!). The most important, we researched what I could and could not do for rides, and planned the trip accordingly. I was very content doing other things while John hit all the thrill rides, but we made sure there was something I could do near by, so I wasn't bored.

A great article if you're planning a "babymoon": http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/807120/pregnancy-travel-planning-a-babymoon

We had an amazing time. It was a great way to transition into beginning a life with more than just the two of us. We purchased Charlotte her first toy and we're as ready as we'll ever be for her arrival.

Charlotte's first toy:

Constant Craving

Now that the sickness seems to be subsiding, Charlie and I are all about the food. When people started asking me if there was anything I was craving, I didn't think there were any cravings, but after a few months I have definitely recognized a pattern.

• Favorite food type: Mexican
• Favorite Restaurant: Casa Blanca- a Mexican place up the street from our house.

Now, I am not sure if I crave Mexican food because we are surrounded (...living so close to Lawrence and all) or if we are lucky that the Mexican food is so close we don't have to go too far to get it.

• Most-Craved Condiment: Mayo, real Hellman's mayonnaise- a lot of friends that have been pregnant, or are pregnant, have reported that they craved particular condiments. If I allowed myself- I'd eat it from the jar with a spoon.
• Still Can't Stomach: Chicken
• Guilty Pleasure: Ramen- I try to sneak more protein in my diet by mixing bits of chicken into it, then I don't have to feel too guilty.

Charlie seems to be using the food to grow big and strong.

We'll be leaving on our babymoon on Friday. Off to Disney to rest and relax before life changes forever. We'll also be buying something for our Charlie.

If you're one of the three (though I think we got two of you), look away.

So, three of you don't want to know...

Well, the majority rules, and the majority wants to know the gender of the baby. What I want to know is, what do you think it is? One of the questions that everyone asks when they find out you're pregnant- what do you want it to be? Now, I remember people asking my parents this all the time (well, they were pregnant all the time) and my dad always answered, "I don't care, as long as it's healthy." Which is the correct response. I really don't care what we have, as long as it's healthy. Now, do I have a preference? I don't know if it's a preference, but I definately have more experience with girl babies than I do with boy babies. However, I have many friends with male children and I am sure they would be willing to lend a helping hand if the baby is a boy and I happen to be completely lost (I don't know, are boy babies really that different than girl babies?)

Now, if people could stop asking John the question, "What do you want it to be?", that'd be great. I am tired of hearing the response- "Chinese!"

We'll let the 21 people that want to know the gender know very soon, the other 3... sorry! Make sure you vote; I want to know what you think.

The Pretty Portion of Pregnancy

We have made it to week 14 and I am already liking pregnancy a whole lot more. The first trimester= no fun! My appetite is back, and I feel like the baby is hungry, not just me. I was saying to John today, it is the strangest feeling to eat a complete meal and still feel like you've eaten practically nothing. Oddly enough, I've only gained about 6 pounds; you'd never know the way I eat and the size of my belly. I have a new feeling of calm, I've settled into my new pregnant body and new pregnant mind. Being a "high-risk pregnancy" and being emerged in a world of developmental disability and "diagnosis" all day at work, I think I may have been a more worrisome mommy-to-be than most, but I've had three months to analyze all the possible outcomes and I'm ready to enjoy the experience, whatever it holds for us.

I've read that the second trimester is the "honeymoon" of pregnancy, I believe it!

Week 14

Side-by-Side: week 11 to week 14

The Big Reveal

This week will be the week we let everyone, well almost everyone, know that we're pregnant. I still do not want to go on facebook and announce it to everyone on the planet, but I would like to tell the people that will appreciate our great news. I won't have to make excuses not to go out anymore, I won't have to pretend I'm "sick" and I will not have to lie about why I do not want a glass of wine- I can't wait!

Still do not look too pregnant, and some days I wake up and don't feel too pregnant, but everything seems to be fine. Next doctor's appointment is this Thursday; I will keep everyone posted! :-)

week 11

Two Months Today

We went to our first doctor's appointment on Tuesday. Baby's heart beat is 158 beats a minute (normal), the yolk sack has formed (normal) and the baby is about the size of John's thumbnail (normal). Our new favorite word...normal!

Our new favorite game...Danielle rejects John's baby names! :-)

Oh, Thank Goodness I Don't Feel Good

Week 6 started out a little bumpy. Woke up late Sunday night ( July 4th) to find that something was wrong. Called John, who was on his way home from work (who has a wedding on the 4th of July, really?!) to tell him what was wrong. He told me we were going to the hospital immediately.

I would NOT go to the Lawrence hospital, so we started driving to Peabody. The Lahey Peabody/North Shore is where we ended up. I'll tell you, if you ever need an emergency room in the middle of the night, this is the place to go. It was quiet, clean, and they worked fast. Irene the Nurse talked us through what was going to happen- check to make sure I was not dilated, take blood to make sure the hcg was not dropping and make an appointment for an ultra sound. She asked if I felt sick, I told her yes, I'm sick all the time, I'm pregnant. Her response- good, keep being sick, it's a good sign.

Step 1 (check), not dilated. Step 2 (check), the pregnancy hormone had increase to 42,000; this was a very good sign and the doctor told us there was very little to worry about at this point. The only concern left, ectopic pregnancy. Step 3, (7 hours later, check), Charlie Bean is where she ☺ should be, the heart beat was strong and the bean is progressing as should be expected.

So, the Bean has a head, torso, ribs, spine and a heart. We are at 6.4 weeks. Next week we have our first appointment with the Obstetrician, I think I'll feel a little more at ease after that.

Something Doesn't Feel Right

I should have known when I looked at the menu and fried clams looked good; I hate fried clams. I should of had a clue when I couldn't ride in the car without getting motion sickness (my dad would tell you that I've loved being in the car since birth). I should have figured something out when I was late; I've had my period for 16 years, I've never been late. You would have thought when I started to sleep in 'til 11:00, or when I felt nauseous a lot, either of those would have prompted me to take a pregnancy test, nope. It wasn't until John said, "Just take a test".

Week 5: Sunday morning- I decide to take a pregnancy test, to my surprise, it's positive. Still laying in bed, I run into the bedroom and tell John (he already knew). Not convinced that it's really true, I go and get another test; it's digital, so in my mind, it's more reliable. Again, another "pregnant" reading! Third time's a charm, I go and get a blood test. HCG level is 16,800. There's no doubt now- I'm brewing a bean!